Can a man and woman be friends? Let’s figure out if this is possible, or at least one of them hopes for further development of relations.
What is friendship?
Each of us, probably, have many examples from our lives or the lives of our inner circles, when boys and girls who grew up together continued to be friends in adulthood. But is it true here to speak of friendship, or is it rather a relationship between ‘brother and sister’?
Psychoanalysts believe that from early childhood, girls and boys understand each other well. There is no sexual attraction as it is born out of difference, while friendship is nourished by likeness. There is no eroticism in it, and at the same time, friendship cannot arise if people do not feel attraction to each other.
Sexual desire is a complex of experiences based on biological instincts aimed at reproducing life. Friendship is a kind of emotional connection, allowing us to experience a feeling of “family” tenderness and intimacy.
What’s important here?
And yet, is it possible to discard the fact of sexual attraction and go against nature, establishing a clean, platonic relationship between the sexes?
Sincere friendship enriches life. Who, if not a friend (who is a girl), can advise what gift is best to buy for your wife or how to impress a new acquaintance? Who will disclose the secrets of the male world and tell about boys’ tricks if not a friend (who is a boy?)
As a rule, there is no rivalry between a man and a woman, which is inherent in same-sex friendship. Friends will not be measured by cars or new dresses, compete over girls or new pretty male colleagues.
We all need to maintain our masculinity and femininity and not necessarily through sex. The main thing in the friendship between a man and a woman is to control the sexual tension that sometimes arises. As adults, we are able to shape our behavior, taking into account the interests of other parties and estimating the possible development of the situation.
Can you spoil your friendship with sex?
But what if watching a movie together and drinking a couple of glasses of wine pushed you into each other’s arms? ‘Friends with benefits’ concept is a complex and controversial thing.
A significant number of so-called “privileged friends” hope that their relationship will eventually turn into a romantic one. This kind of connection can really be a step towards something more serious and long-term.
But you should be careful because, for many people, such a relationship is the only access to sex and nothing more. If you are “friends with privileges,” then the best advice we can give is to talk to each other more often and more frankly.
The friendship between a man and a woman requires caution. It’s best to clearly define what the nature of your relationship is and what your expectations are. This will help you to reduce the risk that one of you will eventually get a broken heart.
So what to do?
Whether to turn mates relations into a real friendship, risking to stumble, or to avoid close communication with the opposite sex – everyone decides for himself.
True friends are people whose communication with us makes us better and happier; those who become our family at the call of our hearts, not blood. It’s a treasure that is wrong to refuse.
If you fall in love with your friend of the opposite sex, stop worrying. According to the American professor of psychology, Dr. Reader, “If you first became friends, and then realized that your feeling grew into something more serious, that’s good, because you don’t only in love with your partner, but you really like him as a person. “And knowing and accepting your loved ones as they are is a great basis for any relationship.
So, if you fall in love with a friend of yours or, vice versa, your friend falls in love with you, that speaks about full acceptance. That’s not the bad thing. Love can’t be bad. Love is beautiful, remember.
Just talk openly, decide what is best for you both and never leave each other!