Until today, he spent all his free time with you, and now he suddenly had urgent things to do. He pulls away — you see each other less. At the beginning of a relationship, women often take this for a loss of interest. And they may be wrong.
Reasons men pull away can lie in his motives
He needs some privacy
Sometimes even a man in love needs some private space and a little bit of loneliness. When he is in love, he feels vulnerable, so this temporary distance allows him not to lose himself. At the very beginning of your relationship, until he understands that you have become an integral and the best part of his life, your partner will periodically take timeouts. Just to put his thoughts and feelings in order. It is important for him not to ‘be drowned’ in his love and not to lose what he treasured so carefully before meeting her.
He’s concentrated on his work
Men are biologically predisposed to concentrate on one of the most important tasks. This does not mean that you have become less interesting to him. He believes that nothing threatens your relationship, and another, more urgent at this moment, goal grabbed all his attention.
A girl perceives this as an unexpected brush-off, starts to feel insecure and ask — does he still love me? There is a desire to punish a poor man, and she starts to behave as a passive aggressor, not showing her feelings, but trying to take revenge by demonstrative inattention.
The situation is becoming more and more confused. People still love each other, but they don’t understand their partner’s motives anymore.
He is afraid of losing his destination
If a man succeeds, he is often full of energy and is ready to share it. Problems start when he sees obstacles on his path to fulfilling his “male mission”. All his energy is directed towards eliminating them as soon as possible.
Unlike women, men rarely see their mission in relationships and family. Relations for them are joy and pleasure, which should not distract from the main thing. A man may consider you the most precious that he has, but when he is focused on solving business problems, you can forget about it a little.
Reasons men pull away can be connected with you
You are afraid of love (in advance)
If there is a subconscious affirmation that, as soon as you open up and start to trust a person, he loses his interest in you.
This affirmation was formed not after unsuccessful relationships, but in childhood. As a result, either you really find such men or you build your behavior in such a way that it leads to a sad outcome: the more you set affections upon a partner, the more sensitive you become to his manifestations of love and attention.
You are too dependent on him
It happens that a girl is too devoted, and a man is so vital for her — like a recharging lead. Without it, it’s impossible not only to be in a good mood, but a happy life also becomes impossible!
A girl can not notice how she becomes a psychological vampire. And any vampirism leads to fatigue and exhaustion of the second party. And it gives rise to a defensive reaction: the desire to distance oneself, take a break, rest, be alone. What men successfully do.
At first, dependent people always cause good feelings and a desire to help, take care of them. Let’s be honest, some men basically like to play the role of a big and strong daddy, but even daddy sometimes gets tired:(
You protect yourself from strong feelings
Sometimes women themselves do not see how, fearing to become addicted, protect themselves from strong feelings, hide their inner affectionate child. And as a result, they demonstrate too independent behavior, which makes the man pull away.
What to do if your man pulls away?
Do not be offended and don’t blame
Instead of annoying “Why didn’t you call?” say that you missed him and that you are glad to hear his voice again. Show him that your relationship will not become a burden for him, that the time spent with you will be an exceptionally positive experience.
When he sees that you can control your emotions and do not lay too much importance to his actions, he will easily contact you. He will understand that the woman he loves understands his desires and needs. And he will be grateful to you for not blaming and criticizing him and start expressing his thoughts more willingly.
When you learn to properly respond to the temporary absence of a man in your life, he will understand that relations with you do not detract from his own ‘I,’ and your connection will become even stronger.
Give you man space
Give him the opportunity to move away — he will return faster (in case your relationships were really healthy.
No need to call him and come to his home and to his work. No need to send tons of messages about how bad you feel without him. If the situation bothers you very much, ask him what the problem is. Perhaps he will not answer you right away — do not insist. Give him time and space.
Let him feel that with you he can be himself with you and you are always ready to listen to him
Carefully, not insisting, not being too pushy. Just be there when he’s ready to talk.
Check out what you should expect when your man is in love with you reading What Happens When a Man Is In Love? Magic?