Yes, a breakup is a disease, a severe one, a tortuous one. But that also means that there is a cure for it and now you are going to get the recipe.
No, breakup won’t break you, you will become even stronger, more wise and experienced. Instead of wrestle with a question ‘what’s wrong with me,’ start doing something that will be beneficial for your health, body and mental state.
Let yourself be weak and poor
Yes exactly. No need to artificially cheer yourself up. You want to cry? Ok, cry. You want to scream? Scream (just do not forget about the neighbors who can hear you). Sing sad songs in the shower. Watch tear-jerking series.
You will be told that everyone is breaking up and there is no need to make a tragedy out of it. Do not listen or try to hide the pain. No one knows what is in your soul except you. If it hurts, let it hurt. Cry until the tears run out, until you feel better, or at least until devastation sets in.
Your strength will return to you, but it takes time. For each person, it varies.
Do not blame yourself
The decision to break does not come in one day. And sometimes not even in a month. Most often, it is accompanied by a long process of reflection.
The reasons can be very different. But this does not mean that you have missed something somewhere. This means that both of you have long begun to lose contact. Do not blame only yourself. Yes, you could be less annoyed or demand less. But a partner could talk to you about this.
Responsibility always lies with both, albeit not always evenly. Do not look for who is to blame anymore. Look to the future and do not repeat your mistakes.
Let your ex go
Do not try to return the partner. If it seems to you that in life there is nothing left and you need to return everything, stop. This is your fear talking.
After a long relationship, it’s scary to be alone. And this is a completely normal reaction.
Do not give this fear win. Do not try to return the ex. Even if he/she returns, nothing good will come of such a relationship – all old disputes.
When the first sharp pain will fade away, go where you could not or did not have time to go together. Watch movies that you liked but didn’t like your former partner. Think of an abandoned because of the relationship hobby.
Do what you would never do together. This will allow you to feel the freedom that you didn’t have before.
Go to, dance, drawing, clay modeling, knitting, or metal burning studio. A trial lesson is often free. Why not give it a try? In the worst case, you will lose an hour. In the best, you will find something that you will love with all your heart.
Change the environment. If everything around you reminds you of a ruined romance, you should think about a change of ‘settings’. Can’t leave? Make a permutation, buy new curtains or dishes. Changing the color scheme will help you tune in a different mood. Experiment!
Do not look for casual sex
Most likely, it will not help, and you will feel even worse than before. The desire to have sex is generated by brittleness. The brain lacks oxytocin, and so we are looking for someone to comfort.
Not convinced? Then at least do not get drunk before a date. Alcohol is a depressant. So instead of enchanting orgasm, you get only a sense of guilt, and in the morning also a hangover. Well, remember about contraception anyway.
Do not start a relationship right after a break
Some try to forget their ex-partner this way. Sometimes it works. Sometimes new relationships turn out to be strong. But most often they only make it worse.
Don’t make mutual friends take sides
First of all, do not put ultimatums. People do not like this. If your ex-partner was an abuser, mistreated or offended you, and your friends still communicate with him and take his side, think about whether you need such friends.
Now you know how to get out of this seemingly bottomless pit. Be strong; love yourself more.